I've been thinking about the little things lately, mostly to avoid thinking about the big things. Because there's nothing I can do about the big things except fret and plan and watch my carefully fretted plans fall through. Nothing important, just future stuff. Like, how do you decide what your future will be? I usually leave it to fate and everything has worked out far better than expected. But some day I'm going to have to make a real decision, right? And sooner seems more likely than later given that I'm feeling unhappy with my current situation and actually feel the need to do something about it. Something to make me happy...ME, of all people!
So I concentrate on these tiny creatures and remember a time when I thought people were raccoons. In the mornings at the cabin, my aunt would emerge from the camper with dark, smudgy makeup and dark, sleepy circles under her eyes...and when we asked her why, she told us she was a raccoon. And I thought that was pretty neat. And I still think it's pretty neat. A raccoon girl. An adventurous, curious, up all night, dark circles under her eyes in the morning, raccoon girl. A raccoon girl can have any kind of adventure, any time she wants. She can climb and run and find treasures and no one will know who she is because she wears her raccoon mask. And probably a capelet...you know, just for fun.
And I look at these tiny dots, these tiny yards of fabric...
...and think of all the tiny things I want to accomplish. And I think of how these tiny things add up to one not-so-tiny to-do list. I'm pretty sure raccoon girls don't have to-do lists. Or if they do, they cross things off quickly (with a flourish and a smile) because then the adventures can start. And I don't think raccoon girls let a gray day get them down. Not even two weeks of gray days.
And I think raccoon girls sometimes let fate decide and sometimes they make hard decisions for themselves. But mostly they have adventures. And that's not so bad.